Saturday Night Blues

Hmm.

Well, it's been a quirky, odd-feeling saturday for me... woke up late to have some breakfast. Then proceeded to jam the morning away before going out in the afternoon, getting myself a brand new edition of Guitar World magazine (which I do believe is one of the better-priced magazines in comparing the amount of information versus the price) featruing (who else!) Jimmy Page, who commented on the 30th Anniversary of Led Zeppelin's sixth album "Physical Graffiti".

Since I already have the album, it comes as no surprise that I know much about the music contained inside the album. Coming as a two-disc set, I suppose I can have some inspiration when it comes to album presentation (if I do manage to cut a disc of decent-sounding songs with Alvin anytime soon).

Truth to tell, the main reason I feel my saturday is just so off-key is because I'm looking back on the situation i had landed myself in back on Valentine's Day. To be perfectly honest, I was so engrossed with trying to impress and make a good impression on that person, I completely forgot the main thing upon which is the most important to breaking the ice: being myself.

People can say that buying flowers (paper ones, though they might have been) for a girl and giving it to her on V day is brave, courageous, thoughful, great, whatever. At the end of the day, I still haven't accomplished the task I aspired to achieve: that is to ask her out.

I was just going through the whole process of how I might just start to ask her in my head, but then I suppose it could either end up in her saying Aye, to which I would suggest: "maybe we could hang out and have a coffee at a place I know" or she could say Nay, to which I wouldn't know how to react to.

I suppose the greatest danger, and nonetheless the greatest fear of entering an active relationship is the feeling of being hurt. I personally have been pierced with that agony of being there and not being noticed, and the feeling just didn't go away even though years after I have gotten over that person.

While I might demand: what the fuss is all about that fear for? I believe that sometimes you have to respect other's decision to reject that which they do not desire and we all have to find another way, one way or another to find that special someone we so desire.

Back to thinking about that special someone; even though she's in my class, I have no fears about being hurt because I believe that with every scar I collect, with every stumble, with every failure I encounter, I'm on the road to success. It may seem block-headed in my thinking, but what is there to lose, when you have everything to gain: love, friendship, companionship, reciprocation.

But that path is still awaiting for me to tread, and I'm not going to walk that path with someone who won't reciprocate my care, love, and devotion. My other classmate told me i have to make a move, and I just can't sit on my butt to wait for opportunity to fall into my lap.

He's right: he's gotten about 7 girlfriends so far.

Of course I'm not going to such extremes.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy