Somehow...

Hmm.

It's approaching the end of the month, and I suddenly found myself having the full realisation that I am no longer 17.

Weird, yes, I know... thing is I've always felt in my heart as an older person in a young skin. I might be blessed to be this way because I tend to have very different perspectives on things, yet it somehow means that I have skipped the transition (brainwave-wise) from 17 to 25 years old within two weeks.

Not that my living environment helps... I work in a pub, my school schedule is like an office working timetable, the people around me tend to act their age, and maybe even younger than their age. I can't help but feel older.

Then it came as a slight shock to me just a few moments ago as I was accompanying my mum in the supermarket and I saw the shelf full of Carlsberg beer... that I am legally allowed to walk up there, pull a bottle off the shelf and purchase it without shame. Ah well, maybe I got a bigger kick out of it when I wasn't allowed within the law to do such a thing. However, I've noticed that after I turned 18, I didn't have that much of a desire to take alcohol because I know it's bad for me... and people do ridiculous things when they're intoxicated. Last thing I want for myself is to become such an irresponsible person.

Haha.. I'm becoming wise XD.

I came up with an interesting chord progression just now.. did a semi-polished acoustic-electric-bass instrumental recording of it.. and somehow I felt that it wasn't as fantastic after I had come back from the supermarket. That's a good way to screen ideas... put them out to sun, and come back later to see which one ain't shrivelled up. I'm speaking in metaphors, by the way.

Lots of things have been happening to me... some of which I have never anticipated to occur within my teenage years, and others which I have longed so much for, and the desire was overwhelming at times... beyond the doubt which might have marred my self-esteem and self-respect.

Then I was thinking about a phrase which I came across a long time back:

"It is better to have loved, than to never have loved at all"

I find that phrase incredibly truthful because when you love, you're giving away a part of yourself to the people around you, and it's like giving other people a compliment.. it's not that you lose anything, but you gain so much more by giving to other people. I feel that this is very important, especially when the festive season arrives... I felt this urge to give, and not expect anything in return, because when you give, it somehow takes all the bad things away.

At least I hope so.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy