reflection

Hmm.

Well this week was kind of strange and different for me. Firstly I had my graduation ceremony at NYP on Wednesday. Booked out early in the morning and managed to reach NYP at 10:15, only to find out that I forgot to bring a tie and the collar piece for my graduation gown.

Truth to tell, Wednesday was a bad day for me despite the fact that I could walk away with my diploma and tell the bad memories to fuck off for the very last time. I just so was tired of being around my ex-coursemates, I honestly could not share in the general joy that we would be receiving a qualification that alleviates us from O level holders to Diploma holders.

I suppose I'm still somewhat bitter about the unfairness over my the grade for the final semester's work. Instead of earning at least a B for my project, I was handed a C+, which in all honesty was a slap in the face by a lecturer who instead gave all the distinctions to the students whom were under his tutelage. I'm not bitter towards the individuals who received the honour and awards, but rather I feel that they too deserve their fair share of moonshine. I applaude their work and their dedication to their craft.

That said, I know it's all water under the bridge and nothing I say nor do can bring up my grade nor add that little bit of merit to my certificate. The best I can do is to soldier on with the task at hand and make the best of my time on Tekong. I suppose returning to Tekong after the forced smiles of graduation, trying my best to impress upon myself that happiness for happiness's sake is the best move, was a relief from the falseness of being courteous to the people who so alienated me and made the final year of my study in NYP so uncomfortable and unbearable.

I'm glad that at long last I can finally be confident that I will never have to sit in the same place with certain individuals whom I know I will ever speak to ever again. I am liberated, unchained from the labour of being politically-correct to those whom I previously had the obligation to help, support and provide knowledge to.

However, I still hold a few persons dear to my heart, as an inspiration and a means which I could remain sane throughout the final year. So here's a big thanks to Jool, Alvin, Jessie, Jace and a few good lecturers whom I could turn to in times of uncertainty especially when dealing with unsavoury characters.

Looking back on the 3 years, I know I have gained an immense amount of knowledge and I do not regret one bit of the sweat, blood and toil with which I have earned my Diploma. Only God knows how much more I deserve for my effort, and I pray that someday my skills and dedication can, in turn, be recognised and appreciated instead of being side-lined and over-looked by individuals who fail to see a bigger picture.

******

It's an odd sense of gaiety that envelopes me whenever I book out, and return to civilisation. Walking off the ferry somehow made my spirits lift up so high. Yet it's also kind of strange that I should feel both a sense of dread and yet a feeling of confidence when I book in because I know that my buddies are right there next to me whenever we go through any troubles or tasks or difficulties.

I thank God for those individuals who have made my time thus far so much less intolerable than I have imagined it would be.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy