Definitely, Maybe, Not II

Hmm.

I'll tell you why I gave up on her.

You have it straight from the man's mouth.

1. She rejected me.
2. I can't give a damn anymore.
3. She can't even dare to speak to me about anything more than schoolwork.
4. I will not pretend to have a shred of emotion regarding her anymore despite the fact that I wrote a song for/about/with respect to her.
5. I've given up on love.

God knows how many times I've fought the feeling of sympathy before realising that I'm probably the one who deserves receiving it. And it's sickening to think of pitying myself when I can hold myself up without having to bother about what other people think, and whether I should or should not do what I think is right.

You can call my an actor, but that's just a joke in bad taste, and I will not be surprised. If you think that falsehood and tricky questions will reveal the truth in my heart, you can stop it and read it on this very blog.

Let it be known that I once fancied her, thought she was the most beautiful, creature which trod this earth. Key word: 'Once'. Which therefore leads to the obvious conclusion that I not think the same way as I once did. All I have now is indifference, lost hope and fuckin indignation at the thought that I was once a person who was so damn ignorant, foolish and naive into thinking that my affections would have been reciprocated.

It was so long ago. Since the end of year 1 I was a captive of my own imagination. I see it now as.. either it's there or it isn't. And we all know that it was never there in the first place.

And there you have it. Hope you're fucking satisfied.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy