Classic Legends of Zelda (reissue Quirks with Zelda VI)

Quirks With Zelda VI (reissued from October 15 2004)


Hmm.

I just finished my lesson in the morning, and I had lunch with Charlotte, Alvin and Charlotte's friend, Juline (whom Alvin and I pulled a false-name pun on by secretly calling her 'Joo-Lyne').

Ok, I do know how to pronounce her name properly.So we had lunch, and I had the evil pleasure of describing to both Charlotte and Juline how my brother got dunked into Milford Sound when I was in NZ earlier this year.

Of course, they really took attention when I described how I faked sleeping when Zelda got on the same bus as I was on a couple of months back:I was taking the bus to school, and I realised that when the bus turned into the busstop, Zelda was waiting to get on board.

Desperately wondering whether to acknowledge her presence or just stare into blankness, I settled to pretending to be asleep. So Zelda got onto the bus, and I managed to pretend well enough that I was in deep slumber although Led Zep was blasting in my ears.

So there I was, sitting down there with my eyes closed and head resting on my bag (which was upright on my lap), and trying to snore very softly. I soon felt someone (well, it was obviously Zelda) shaking my shoulder. I just tried to hold down my laughter, and proceeded to ignore the shaking shoulder.

Eventually, I gave a sleepy grunt and swept her hand away, and I continued on my false slumber. Just after a few minutes after I shook her hand away from my shoulder, the stupidest thing happened: my left earphone dropped out of my ear. Faking I was disturbed by the absence of music in my left ear (and also partly out of fear she'd try to wake me by yabbering away), I groped very convincingly around my shoulder and stuffed the earphone into my ear, all the while eyes closed, and continued my slumber.

Only when I needed to change buses, then I 'woke' from my sleep complete with sleepy-looking eyes and tired grunts. i didn't even look at her, and only 'noticed' her when I sat down at the busstop, and she just stood in front of me. Freaky.

Well this afternoon, I was having my lesson and I was cutting up cardboard to make a box. Apparently, some idiotic bloke started playing Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful', and he managed to play the same song thrice.

WI finally pointed this irritating factor out to Alvin, Zelda cut in:

'Ay! At least Christina is better than Britney right? Right? I mean, Britney is such a slut.' said Zelda.

Crawldaddy: 'Oh well, actually they are both the same, don't you think so Al?'

Alvin: 'Yeah, it's quite true'

Zelda: 'Ay! Don't you dare to insult Christina Aguilera ok? Ok? At least she sings better you know..'

She then proceeded to point an exposed black marker at my face.

Having a cutting knife in my hand, I pointed this out to her, and she the said:

'You haven't died before right? You don't know how it is to die right? Right?'

Crawldaddy: 'It's obvious, Zelda. I standing here, which means I haven't died yet right?'

Zelda: 'Ok, right, right. But you don't want me to paint your face black right? Right?'

Crawldaddy: 'Well, I'm sure you don't want me to cut your face up with my knife right?'

Zelda: 'Oh! Oh! (covering face with hands) Don't touch my face! It's Worth Millions!!!!'

Crawldaddy: 'Riiight... worth millions of what? Piles of shit?'

That caused her to chase me out of the studio, brandishing her black marker like some samurai sword, while Alvin laughed his head off, and saying: 'That was a good one! That was a good one!'

Yep, She sure doesn't get it right? I mean, isn't it enough that she's so irritating, the day before she just stood in front of everyone in her presentation clothes, and saying:

'I'm going shopping later..' in a voice I'm sure everyone could hear.

'Oh! I don't have lip gloss on!' proceeding to put her lip gloss on, she then proclaimed:

'Look! Clinique eh! Clinique you know???!'.

Dot.

Zelda: 'Oh, I'm meeting my friend later..' My classmate, couldn't resist the urge to fall into Zelda's trap of attracting more attention asked her:

'Guy or girl?'

Zelda: 'Of course guy larrrhhh...'

Dot.

So she just proceeded to put her lip gloss in front of everybody as though she was posing for some cheap-arsed make-up commercial, which portrays their models as tarts(body-sellers).I'm sure most of my classmates were trying very hard to hide their winces and looks of shock and abhorrance.Yeah, she sure doesn't get it.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy