All by myself

Hmm.

(nasal, high-pitched, kicked-in-the-crotch voice):

'loonellllyy.. I'm Mister loonelllyy.. I am nobodyyyyy... I'm all on my owwwwwahhhhhnnnnn'

*shudder*

I'm just sitting here and nobody's online. I guess it's also a reflection of my popularity that very few people approach me online to chat etc. Yet again, maybe it's my inability to talk crap with people of my own age group. I dunno, but I sure am sick of stoning here and being lonesome.

Is it natural to be lonesome? I find that it is severely depressing when all you have is your own skin, and everything else is just too difficult to handle, and the jokes bite and sting... the looks on people's faces burn and scorch... the laughter mocking and scorning.

Then I look for solace in music. Sometimes I pray... God seemed to have answered my prayers a while back, and it's nobody's fault but mine that people just shun the guy who immerses himself in a world full of sound effects and sonic landscapes. People come and go... some appear to be willing, but in the end when fake smiles give way and they eventually slip away to nothingness...

Why shouldn't I have a sanctuary of my own? I find nothing beats the feeling of warmth coursing through my veins when sitting down and listening to stuff like Nick Drake, Rob's CD and (I know this is weird) John Denver.

I also find great self-reward when I just plug in my SG, turn up the amplifier and just blast every single note out. It's just so damn good to have that feeling of raw power and ambience envelope you as the sound and energy wraps you up and takes you to a different dimension.

My mum will never be able to understand why I have to turn it up... I'm still tired, and the holidays are coming to a close... when will I really get some rest? It's always.. do this, do that, would you mind doing this this afternoon... do it or you'll be in big trouble. She can't give me a break. If this goes on, I'll be burnt out by the 2nd week of the next semester.

The other day she went upstairs into her room, and started screaming her bloody head off. Turns out she had grown so fat on tit-bits and your what-nots such that she had developed a double chin.

I was just laughing my head off when she came down and was still panting when she told me her new-found revelation. So here's a fair warning to you girls out there: stop the fucking tit-bits and you won't get a double chin.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy