Mind in Mono II

Hmm.

Ok, I can feel it. It's not depression. It's not the stupid things which I've done throughout my entire life which have come back to haunt me. It's simple: I'm burning out.

I knew this was coming, and frankly I'm just waiting for the fever to arrive and the headaches to start pouring in. I can't escape it.. because I'm burning out.

Not that it hasn't happened before. After all, I did burn out halfway through the semester.. and it's happening all over again. What with 8 project running concurrently, I'm actually doing badly because we had 1q2 projects last semester.

Right now... waiting for my 3D modelling software to finish up the renderings of my candle-holder. I still haven't started on my illustrator toolbox. I am so gonna DIE. I think I might not sleep at all tonight. What the hey.. the burnout is approaching anyway, so might as well go down in all my flame and glory.

I had a go at my Telecaster just now. I love it so much. God knows why I put so much love into my guitars and muscial instruments, music in general and the subtle art of appreciating music. After all, I don't have anywhere else to place my love. I think it might not be my time to enter a relationship yet, and as such, I have to place my love elsewhere where I can. In this case, my most recent musical purchase.

It's not as if I've never tried to make a difference. Come to think of it, it might be the fact that I'm a very intense person. Many a time, people have told me to cool it, take it easy, slack a little. Could my attitude of shoot-em-all-and-heck-with-em be the source of my discontent? That side of me is the reason why I'm going places, but it seems to be accelerating my burnout rate just as effectively. Ok, now I'm getting tired.

I just want some time to myself... read a good book, listen to some Nick Drake, work on Rhino for pleasure, jam with my pals, learn Jazz, pick up a new language (perhaps german?), get a new handphone, exercise... so many things to do, but all screwed because new things keep popping up every now and again. Last weekend was a truly guitar-dominated two days... I had replaced the tuners on my old acoustic guitar, and I bought the Tele.

I need more time. Seriously.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy