Good advice, for moi.

Hmm.

Today is Teachers' Day for my almer mater and I've decided to go visit my old school teachers with my good ol' pal Alvin. We arrived at school to realise that a live band had just finished their performance (I always arrive too late for these things, and i can only hear the credits and appreciations to sponsors etc. sigh.), and I immediately met up with my old math teacher. After exchanging handshakes and pleasantries, Alvin and I moved on. A couple of moments later, I met up with my former Social Studies teacher (whose subject I flunked during the whole two years i took it, but managed to squeeze out a reasonable grade at the final exam), and this is what he said to me:

'Wow, you still look the same,' everyone always says that, so no surprises here.

'Yeah, you too,'

'So are you still the same person as during your secondary school years or are you different now?'

'Erm, maybe just around the same'

'Anyway, I just want to tell you, since I've realised that you have a very serious outlook on life, just learn how to relax and have fun,'

LIKE I really don't have a clue how to HAVE FUN???

'Ok, no problem sir, note taken,'

'Ok, stay well'

He then moved off to find another victim while I felt like I just got laughed at by a million people.

Later that day, as I was with another friend, this is what she said to me:

'I notice you seem to complain about alot of things'

'really? I'm just voicing my opinions, not really taking them to heart you know'

'Yeah, but you should just learn how to relax and have fun'

OH NO. In case you didn't realise, she just said the same thing my old teacher said just a couple of hours back.

Ah, well, at least I had better remarks thrown at me by my other teachers:

'I can't recognise you in that cap' said another

'I actually taught you??? I really can't remember.'

'You still look the same'

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Tears Of Amusement At The Readily-cooked Food Stall

Hmm.

I was having my lunch with a friend of mine downtown in an air-conditioned Kopitiam (or simply coffee house). Being the gentleman, I let her buy her lunch first before allowing myself to go get some lunch of my own.

When she returned, I set off to see which food stall had the best value, and decided on the one which had readily-cooked food.
These stalls are operated on a very simple principle, similar to a buffet, except people charge you for how much you eat. The dishes were displayed in a glass cabinet kept warm by several halogen lamps, and which simultanously illuminated the food.

There was one individual in front of me in the queue, apparently, he was a Chinese national, and he pointed out the dishes he wanted with a tap on the galss cabinet (in the direction of the dish) with his extremely suave-looking sunglasses. The stall operator apparently kept scratching his head (for what ever reason I do not need to know). When I checked for the hygiene status of the stall, I was mildly amused that with this head-scratching fellow, they have an 'A'.

So while the head-scratching dude was handling the finances of the stall, the cook, a lady in her fifties came out and took charge (thank goodness...). After choosing what i wanted, I paid for my lunch and while i kept my change, I overheard the conversation between the cook and an african-looking man who was behind me.

'Yes, what you want now?' said the cook.

'Erm what is this?'

'Chicken'

'And this?

'Pork'

"What about this one?'

'Beef'

'I think I'll just stick to this and this and this' (apparently all vegetables).

Then the African-looking man's friend said:

'Why'd you ask all that when you're a vegetarian?'



Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Mother's Love III

Hmm.

Cutting my finger at work today isn't a fun thing to happen to you. My part-time job is working as a waiter in some big-arsed caucasian's Convention Centre down town. Apparently, they provide insurance for their employees, so I'm willing to overlook the caucasian's big-arsedness.

I cut my finger when I was handling the cover of a buffet-dish, and at first I didn't realise what had happened. However, an immense amount of blood flowing out subsequently caused me to squeal like a pig in the process of being slaughtered. I rushed to my supervisor, and I was out of the Convention Centre within 10 minutes with a small bandage on my left forefinger.

I called my mother to tell her of what happened, and this is the conversation:

'Mum, I just hurt myself at work'

No reply

'Mum, I just hurt myself at work'

'Ok, so when can you get your pay?'

'the cut's deep, but I think the bleeding's controlled already'

'Yeah, so how much do you think you will get paid for today?'

You can call it being pragmatic, but what happend to the usual case of mothers asking 'oh, are you alright dear?'. Absolutely disappointing.

'So I think I gotta go to the hospital, just to ensure that everything's ok.'

'WHAT??? ARE YOU NUTS? DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE TH...'

' I can claim my cash from work'

No reply

'I... can claim... the cash.... from work.... heard it?'

'So how much did you earn today?'


As you can see, I have a very, very loving mother whose only concern is whether i get my cash and not whether my finger is in danger of infection and susequent amputation. I simply luuuurrrrve my mother.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The name of my blog.

Hmm.

Just in case you were wondering why my blog's address is 'crawldaddydiscosuxx.blogspot.com', you should look back and read some of my previous blogs and I think you'll realise something interesting: i tend to dislike any form of music that is manufactured, and this disdain for manufactured music (hip-hop, r&b, taiwanese pop, j-pop, k-pop, britney spears and her imitators, punk whine groups like Simple Plan and Hoobastank etc.) that has moulded me into a fire-breathing MTV-thrashing blogger.

All this doesn't add up right? why's there a 'discosuxx' in my blog address? apparently, another topic i haven't touch on is disco music (excluding that of the seventies). Today, i can never watch television (usually reality-TV programmes like 'The Apprentice' or 'The Amazing Race #I dunno) without having to endure the commercials.

What do these commercials contain? Of course in stress-laden Singapore, the government's pressure on Singaporeans to have more babies etc, has caused us to shed hair more than we should. So on top of the hair-growth commercials, there are the adverts for irritating techno compilation albums which are marketed by some 'cool-sounding' compilation company.

I do not like techno, trance, dance, and whatever whatnots which only require an idiot to stand in front of a disc station and combine two lame songs together and speed it all up to a tempo of 3000. That, my friend, is both stupid and lame because the only 'creative' force is the ability to make sure the song sounds right (so??? there's a speed button right?).

To me, a musician (except you, irritating DJ...) is one who deserves the highest respect because not everyone can play an intrument, much less be creative with it. Ok, not to brag about myself, but if you do play an instrument, at least try to write your own songs, because singing other people's songs can be such a drag. That's why my band is such a good vehicle to write and perform songs: we play many instruments between us, and it'll never get boring.

Back to techno. I first discovered techno when I was 12 years old. I was sitting in my mum's car, and at the traffic light, a van settled next to my mum's car. I hear some sort of tumping sound which I couldn't place where it came from. After a while, I realised the thumping sound came from the van.

Apparently, there was some kinda prick sitting at the window, and he was bopping his head to the thumping. i just sat there and observed him, and i thought to myself: that dude is really an idiot to sit with the window wide open and let every one see what a vulgar fool he is to pollute the surroundings with that obsolete thrash.

Subsequently, I realised that he wasn't just listening to a bass drum going at 4000 mph, but there was 'music' as well, along with all those fancy modifications to his van: shiny, chrome bumpers, fake air outlets at the skirts, and the mother of all things: an aerofoil the size of texas.

As I have described, you can picture why it is i hate techno and it's affiliates. Not so much that I should forget britney spears or simple plan, and they're all either too dumb to notice they look and sound stupid, but it's all a fad that's only taking too long to die out primarily because the MTV camera just can't out of her chest.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Bad Luck following me like crows.

Sigh.

First my band received the worst audience ever, then I got heartbroken by a girl, and now I've cut my finger.

Bad luck happens in threes, according to chinese mythology, and it seems it's not by chance because two other classmates of mine also cut their finger on friday.

Ahh, let's just hope it'll heal in time for wednesday as i'm having band prac, and i'm coming up with some kick-arse songs to blow your socks away.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Dillema, dillema.

Sigh.

As a very active guitarist, my musical focus is on the genres of rock, country, folk, bluegrass and jazzy stuff. When I joined the tertiary institute, I realised that maybe I could expand on my musical ability by joining the guitar club. Sadly, I realised too late that the guitar club is focusing on playing as an ensemble, instead of individual persons doing their stuff.

So what is the problem with me and the guitar club? I'm a dude who prefers to read guitar tab, instead of the traditional sheet music (a.k.a. known as 'tow-gay' or beansprouts) and this guitar tab is actually easily to read, and mistakes made is seldom compared to tow-gay. As I'm unable to read tow-gay, playing a song piece is a very painful pain-in-the-arse.

With tow-gay, you gotta take so much consideration to this and that which amounts to the music being read properly. With Guitar tablature, all you gotta do is see which fret you gotta press on, and on which string, which is simple enough for the average joe. The advantages of guitar tablature is such that all guitar magazines use this format of sheet music when transposing songs, and it's completely writeable on Microsoft word. Imagine trying to download tow-gay stuff: it'll only be able to come out as a picture or requiring a programme to illustrate out the file.

Sheet music problems aside, it is also the music that these nutters choose to play: slow, boring stuff that'll make your head sleepy just by looking at the sheet music. I'm a lead player, and because of my inability to read tow-gay, I'm forced to play slow chords or overtly-complicated bass parts (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn).

As I mentioned before, bluegrass is so much more lively compared to classical stuff, and i simply prefer the challenge of improvisation during a song, rather than trying to play simultanously with five other people, all of us playing the same piece.

As a result of my dillema, I've decided to quit the guitar club, and my dad asked me whether I'm gonna start an electric guitar club. My answer: It's either classical or metallica for today's typical guitarist, and if i do start an electric guitar club, it'll be forced to focus on heavy lead stuff. As my electric roots lie in Led Zeppelin, not Metallica, I'll just lie back and play my steel acoustic to the cold wind and angry neighbours (who I do believe hate my version of the feedback-laden national anthem).

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Focus! Focus!

Hmm.

At present, all of us are very much aware of the music thanks to radio, television (especially Materialistic-snob's Television a.k.a 'MTV') and of course, the bastard-child of newspapers: the dreaded Tabloid.

The Tabloid's History has always been shrouded in mystery because of their ability to divert peoples' attention, credit fro this goes to their employees who tend to talk through their rear ends.

Sadly, these blokes are succeeding because of the sadistic nature of people who delight in seeing their 'favourite' celebrities being torn down and trampled upon by these celebrity-vultures.

It's a wierd world we live in: the actors provide the entertainment both from the television screen and the tabloid's pages, but that's not the end..... it becomes more and more interesting with the photos accompanying the tabloid's text-crap.

A quote: famous people in Britain have to dread being taken by a tabloid photographer, but they can walk down the streets in the USA as any other joe. I think it's interesting that tabloids are taken more seriously in Britain than anywhere else (but that does not discount the existence of Tabloids elsewhere).

Music today is very crappy due to the tendency of record companies to focus on the artiste's image instead of the stuff that goes to the listener. A very good example are the Taiwanese 'boyband's F4, Energy and 5566 (what kinda crap name is 5566? why not 7788 right???), which throws in dance moves and good looks to draw attention away from the music. i wonder what these guys will do when they hit 30. Maybe acting (which somehow doesn't seem to be their forte, as seen in F4's 'meteor garden') when they realise that maybe dancing isn't very good because they turn lazy.

I believe that it's good for us to look at the world right now, and i'm having mixed emotions about the tabloids. they provide crap, but they simultanously tear away the good image of these crappy groups. Maybe if the tabloids just stick to thrashing celebrities, i'll applaude their actions. Someday.

Cheers and read proper stuff,

Crawldaddy

Long, tiresome day......

Sigh.

Today isn't a good day for the crawldaddy. I'm very depressed for several reasons, and they all revolve around my school life. Today is the end of term (where in the secondary school we sing with great gusto the end-of-term hymn, which all of us enjoy), and the fuzzy green grass decided to hold a small performance in a common area within our block.

Starting off with our standard kick-off piece 'A Simple Life', we noticed that we were only playing to one very annoyingly avid fuzzy green grass fan (we actually preferred no one listening to us, than that annoying person hanging around like a vulture to a carcass). Apparently, we were either too loud for some people, or simply too soft to satisfy ourselves.

The time was divided into two sections: an acoustic session (comprising me on acoustic steel, and my pal on banjo), and an electric session (myself on electric steel and my friend on banjo). The acoustic session ended with the Alison Krauss classic 'When You Say Nothing At All', most recently covered by Ronan Keating. Even that most serenating ballad failed to draw our 'frequent flyers', and new songs (to us, especially since we only finalised that song today) like 'All Day' by Hillsong United, and 'Pinball Wizard' by The Who failed to generate new interest. Sad huh?

The Electric session stared with 'All Day', and we polished it off with a splendid 4 solo (one banjo solo, one electric solo, one banjo solo, one electric solo) version of 'Stairway To Heaven', which my pal and I never did before. It was dismal, because there was (seemingly) no one there to appreciate our stuff except the two of us.

The main reason why I'm so depressed is because I discovered that the girl I have a crush on (who apparently is my pal's classmate), actually has a boyfriend, and I was crushed. What a day huh?

However, I'm glad that I didn't have to play just for that annoying fuzzy green grass fan because she just loves to interrupt us in the middle of a song (imagine sitting on the toilet and someone asks you how long is the turd which just fell in the bowl).

Anyhow, I hope that there will be better response from the people who were actually there (except you, annoying fan....)

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Selfish Snobs II (Who still dat??? Who still dere???)

Hmm.

I regularly take a bus to and from from school, and sometimes I take the train to some other destination when the need comes to me. As an objective bystander, I realise that most Singaporeans are really, selfish people who deserve to be hanged for the lack of simple courtesy. So much for the government's 'Be Courteous' movement.

This afternoon, while coming home from school, I was sitting on the seats facing the rest of the bus. The first 20 minutes of the journey were relatively uneventful, and I just sat there listening to Led Zeppelin's BBC Sessions. At one bus stop, a knot of students made their way on board, and there was about 12 people getting on the bus. The foremost of the twelve people was with his friend, and as they proceeded into the bus, they stopped midway, and decided to hang up traffic at the front of the bus.

I looked closely to see if there was any space for that duo to procced further into the bus, but there was plenty of availible room. So these two inconsiderate people just stood there, not budging an inch while they chattered on about some stuff (I couldn't hear them through my earphones), however they were very jovial, and obviously oblivious to the remaining people jammed up front near where i was sitting.

This went on for five more minutes, but i was fuming on the behalf of those, who didn't get a chance to move to the remaining part of the bus, standing and sweating uncomfortably.

Apparently, these two also didn't make an effort to give way to a passenger who tried to pass. When their stop came, only THEN, they decided to make a move. As you can see, very inconsiderate behaviour from today's youth.

A couple of weeks, back, after work, I was preparing to board the train at 5pm, which is approximately rush hour. the platform was jam-packed with people, and I managed to enter the entrance or the train after a few patient seconds, all the while dreading the doors coming to clamp me between their jaws.

Apparently, there was some space in the middle of the train, and the unfortunate people, myself included, got squashed between the people whom i didn't wish to come into physical contact and the two doors.

I was thinking: WILL IT HURT SO MUCH IF THESE IGNORANT BLOKES JUST MOVE A FEW INCHES EACH? Their behaviour suggested that it may hurt that much, and i believe that they've never been sqeezed so badly before, or they'll have given way to those coming on board.

Thank God I only had to endure it for one station. I'd have lambasted those who didn't move and knocked a few stubborn heads (ok, maybe not so much violence).

Cheers, stay considerate.

Crawldaddy

Long hair and the dominant (fe)male

Hmm.

Living in an asian country where we are repeatedly exposed to large dosages of taiwanese boybands, it's no surprise that the only reason the ladies like their songs is because of the group's image: long 'silky' hair, extremely good looks, and of course the ability to dance by themselves.

I do not like to use the term 'boyband'. The reason is simply because they do not play their own instruments, and all they can do is 'sing', dance and look pretty. My idea of a group that can call themselves a band is: at least two people who play musical instruments, percussion groups is also acceptable. So why are these boy'bands' getting such huge response?

The majority of female brains is somehow tuned into dudes who look handsome, or even dangerous. It is this tunings of the majority of female brains such that the normal, nice guy can never get a proper date, and instead wallowing in self-pity (sad huh?).

Apparently, the advent of boybands has led into a major fashion trend in the hairstyles of today's asian male. Everywhere you turn, you can always see at least one guy with long, dyed hair and a tinge of make-up. This has also led to the increase sales in hair-styling products off the supermarket shelves. Apparently, like today's asian female, most dudes vaguely similar to each other.

I personally find the idea of a boyband ludicruous since they're all manufactured, and the only reason they can hold together is because they know that it sells well. when they start to grow into their 30s, they tend to be thrown aside and replaced by a younger, more energised group (also seen in the situation of the backstreet boys).

Anyhow, We all know these groups come and go, while the timeless appeal of real bands is stil here to stay. I'll just go home and review my "Stairway" solo then....

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Good Sh*t, yeah!

Hmm.

I believe you'll enjoy this joke sent in from my friend:

To: All Students!

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer.

You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).

This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching.
(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

fashion sense at the olympics

Hmm.

Aside from being THE pagan sporting event of every four years (well, it started in greece, and greece is the home of the pagan aka witchcraft gods), the Olympics also herald an increase in interest in the types of outfits worn by the athlethes. During Sydney 2000, we saw the introduction of friction-reducing suits worn by swimming athlethes and track athlethes. Apparently, they do work, and the 2000 Olympics was known to be one 'with the least amount of skin shown for swimming and track events'. This year's Olympics are an exception, maybe because they've finally realised that God gave them a very full-functioning skin, and all they need to do is get a bikini wax once every friday ( just put on something to hide your privates please).

If you noticed, skin-tight clothes at the sporting events are de-riguer especially since they reduce friction caused by flapping fabrics which tend to catch the wind and slow athlethes down by a millionth of a second, thereby costing him or her the race. It's kind of interesting when it comes to the various means which athlethes go through so that at least they can get their desired speed by not taking banned substances or resorting to a pill-oriented diet.

The expressions of various athlethes are also similarly varied, from grim smiles of failure to wild, scary grins which are supposed to convey estaticism, yet come across as silent war cries akin to maori facial intimidations (put scary maori warrior face here).

Yet, this event is supposed to bring people around the world together, but why all this hullabaloo about medal tallies? If you're here in the name of sports, just do your best and not be bothered by whether the guy or lady had their bikini wax on friday, don't you think that should be the case??

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Songs for the (un)common person

Hmm.

As a very avid musician, I would often listen to the radio for good songs to try out on my guitar. Most recently, I've realised that the radio isn't ever going to be a good place to listen out for good songs. Apparently, the best source is my brother, who'll gratefully listen to any thrash that emerges form the airwaves, and maybe milk out a good song or two in a very, very, long while.

So what can I do when there isn't any song worth playing? In the first place, let me introduce you to a new trend growing in the music industry. There are now three ways to get a record deal: One, be a big arsed drug lord who has been bullet-riddled beyond recognition, singing (or maybe just wheezing) hip hop; Two, have a set of big boobs, long legs and a killer smile, and sleep with anybody, especially the record company owner, even though the only thing people will ever trust you with is a piece of tissue paper; Thirdly and finally, sport spiky hair, strap on a battered guitar, gather a few of your best punkish pals and start a punk-whiner group. Sounds simple huh??

I prefer to talk about the last lot of people because most of the time, their music is absolute rubbish, containing stuff that's mostly unconprehensible or simply self-degratory: 'I'm sorry, I can't be (takes a breather) PEERRRRRFEEEEEEEECT....'

Apparently, there's a new genre of music zooming out of the radio sets and entering the eager ears of naive idiots who relate the eighties only to shoulder pads and spandax. What is this new genre? Is it 'exciting'? Is it 'revolutionary'? well, I affectionally call it Punk-Whine.

Why do I call it Punk-Whine? We've all heard of Punk-Rock, so instead of combining Punk music with rock, these guys are just using punk music to whine.... get it? A ver good example is Simple Plan, a 'band' which apparently churns out the kind of sh*t which perfectly fills into the third category for modern-day record companies. Another is Hoobastank (what kinda crap name is Hoobastank???? Apparently, they'd might as well call themselves New Whiners On The Block), which churns out 'sentimental' and 'meaningful' sh*t.

Why do they whine? Why don't they play something which can be at the least mildly lively? Maybe they'll be here to stay and bore the pants off the ladies whom they want to date, and maybe give me more space to shoot them down on my blog!!!! (heeheehee) At the end of the day, I'll still gladly put on something that's more meaningful than being unperfect and whining about it, something like..........Earl Scruggs!!!! At least he's lively.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Cycling in the wrong lane.....

Hmm.

Everyday I cycle to my nearby bus stop to take a bus to school and the trip from home to the bus stop would usually require 5 minutes. If i walked, it would take about ten minutes to fifteen minutes, the road to the bus stop is just two lanes: one for each direction.

When cycling, I come across several situations along the way every morning. As this particular road also leads to a school, there would be many cars in the early morning, filled with school girls being chauffered by their parents to school (it's a girl's school). So what do I encounter? Since the country i am living in is rather small, and the opposition party governs this area, there isn't much room for a cyclist to ride in peace. Instead, I would often be harried by drivers who wish to pass, and they often do not have the guts even though the opposite lane is free of traffic. So while their bumper is just a few inches from my rear wheel, I decide to outstrip this obnoxious driver, and let him gain some speed.

Believe me, sometimes i can outstrip a car, especially when the driver decides that he wants to drive slowly and hold traffic down. This time was no exception.

Another situation I come across is the problem with people who sometimes believe that riding in the wrong lane is actually a cool thing to do. This morning, I came across a cyclist riding in the same lane as i am, but in the opposite direction!!! I realised that this person needs a very loud wake-up call, so I cycled very fast towards him, and I could see his eyes widen as i hurled down the road towards him.

I do believe he woke up at last as he quickly moved to the correct lane at last, and received a look from me which said: 'GOOD THING YOU'VE FINALLY WOKEN UP YOU MORON!!!!'

So if you ever cycle in the wrong lane, believe me, it's the stupidest thing to do as you'd be hitting a car head-on full throttle in case either you or the driver isn't paying attention. Also, there's a reason, why there are TWO lanes or more for most roads, and you'd better know why and stick to the proper lane.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Mother's Love II

Hmm.

As an individual wearing braces (ouch yes), I tend to get alot of questions coming my way: 'when did you put them on?' is quite common, 'how long will it last?' is another, but the most frequent one is 'it's expensive yeah?'. Of course, in olden days, braces were considered a luxury, even though those braces were unwieldy contraptions that can pick up cable television.

However, hygiene issues aside, i tend to keep developing mouth ulcers, and of course the favourite response from my mother when I wince while eating is: 'Boy, are you drinking enough water?', and the classic response will be: 'yeah, but i've simply got no time'. stupid huh? That kind of response will yield an interesting form of behaviour from my mother, especially when i simply refuse to eat anything, for fear of agitating the wound in my mouth. for example, oranges have citric acid, and according to my mum, Vitamin C is good for mouth ulcers (by the way, research online shows this is pure fiction, and means that my mother still obstinately believes in). therefore: 'i'm not eating oranges today, nor the apples, I've got an ulcer' would cause 'SO? eat them, they'll solve your problem and cure your ulcer even more, it's the Vitamin C, Boy... the Vitamin C'.

Of course, anything I refuse to eat, will in my mother's eye, mean that it will help my ulcers to go away (complete bullcrap). So what can I say? Mother's love is mother's love, no matter how ignorant it becomes.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Guys or girls??? I'm tired.

Hmm.

I've recently realised that men nowadays are doing things which were and still are synonymous with girl's stuff. A very good example is the act of dying one's hair, which is very commonplace nowadays, so let's ignore that. Another is the use of make-up, and the plucking of eyebrows.

What are the uses of make-up?? I seriously believe sometimes that my mother looks better without make-up than those models in the adverts who look as though the make-up counter just blew up in their faces. Similarly, why are dudes plucking their eyebrows??? I thought that only some tacky old women who are so vain, all they know is the mirror, are the only ones who shave off their eyebrows and get an eyebrow tatto. Of course the hair brows back and they appear like some form of over-zealous tatto freak who is blind.

Let's put it this way: guys are simply getting more feminine, and girls are simply getting more masculine (see previous blogs). I admit that i'm a softie sometimes, but get real.... maybe gays or demented straights might want to get plucked eyebrows for that 'defined' look, but the normal bunch should just stick with what God has given us.

While the demented straights might argue that what they have done is in tune with society, maybe they should just go to Japan, where the only way we can differentiate the males from the females is where the guys most usually wear pants (note: usually), and the ladies most definitely look as though the make-up counter has blown up in their faces to get their own 'defined' look.

Cheers

Crawldaddy

Volume is a criminal offense!!

Hmm.

I'm just a simple, guy, but I like to listen to Led Zeppelin tunes. Anybody who know's Led Zep's tunes would know that they sound good loud, right? Let me tell you something which involves Led Zeppelin's songs and the girls in my class.

Sitting down, and getting ready for the class test in half an hour earlier this morning, I struggled to peer through the mists that prevented me from seeing my math text clearly, and that calls for desperate measures: either get a coffee or listen to Led Zep. Choosing the latter which eased the ulcer in my wallet, I pulled out my CD player and pulled out Led Zeppelin IV. Any Led Zep fan would agree that IV will wake you up, but that does not guarantee the following: idle chatter that cuts through the muscular Jimmy Page riffing in 'Black Dog'.

The girls in my class are of a rare and 'special' breed. their abilities include cutting people down with a single word and further mutilation with a glance. So imagine that six girls walk into class loudly sipping their drinks, talking as if they were at opposite ends of a soccer pitch, and walking as though they had something fleshy hanging between their legs.

This coincided with my application of Led Zep to my sleepy head, and when 'Black Dog' came on, Robert Plant's screaming vocals added himself to a barrage of crow's cawing which proceeded after the girls sat down. Forcing myself to concentrate, I peered once more through the mists, and finally a light shone through: a wrong page.

Never mind, a simple enough mistake, so i flipped to the right page, and while the solo of 'Black Dog' raged on, the crows cawed even more with greater gusto, with anything that involved a speck of dust inducing an outburst of donkeys' braying. I closed my eyes and wondered if i would ever get through the test.

9:30 cam at long last, and the cawing and braying stopped (finally!!!). and two minutes into the test confirmed my greatest fears: i will never get through every single question right.

two hours later, i thanked God for peace and guidance, but i'd wish he'd put an end to all that cawing and braying which is synonymous with their coming and going (which so happens to take a long process everytime). I also had a calming 'Stairway To Heaven', which allowed me to realise that I'm the only one in my family who can actually do the solo (all right, enough bragging right?).

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

What Is and should really, never Be.

Hmm.

I'm a bluegrass, country and rock enthusiast, so when some form of cow dung that comes onto MTV (aka Materialistic-snob's Television) in the form of hip hop music, I simply wince at the image of these rappers and she-rappers. apparently, I can't really tell the difference between who's male or female because (*gasp*) they all wear the same stuff!!

It's quite true: the standard 'outfit' or 'gear' for a rapper involves a big basketball jersey, low-slung pants such that their legs look only two feet long, a backwards baseball cap or bandanna, several large, tacky, diamond encrusted gold jewellery and the mother of all things.... tattoos the size of a soccer pitch. I don't wince at the tattos, because their a form of body art, as long as it's not on me, I'm dandy.

Let's talk about the ladies: too much flesh hanging out is their business, but when it comes to doing so, such that they can get attention is kinda sad because they are implying that they've got nothing else. Their language, while eroding the image of ladies as graceful persons, is rapidly causing women to believe that crass, rude behaviour is the way to go. Wrong. Somehow, when ladies hang out too much with tough (or apparently seeming so) guys, they tend to become guys in their own right. So ladies, keep it simple, it's actually easier.

For the guys... too many women is not good because the little bloke downstairs can only take so much (if you get my idea, really). Also, the idea of mixing booze, drugs, smoking, tattos, and womanizing is really uncool because you'll look like any other pimp walking down the street with his pants slung low, and back bent beacuse of that huge fake diamond-encrusted cross around his neck.

Let's talk about the music: do you believe that rap music talks about feelings other than lust, anger and sadness? if you dispute this, look at the majority of rappers nowadays: no poetic ability whatsoever, you can call it an identity but they are simply looking too much like their contemporaries, and also the amount of vulgarities concentrated whithin one song (which may appear macho and whatever whatnots, but still vulgar).

If they are simply the tool of some greater purpose, then I'm not surprised. But in the meantime, just stay away from them, and their music if you can, and if you're professionally interested, just try not to get too immersed.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The amazing wonders of Powerpoint presentation

Hmm.

I'm sure most of you guys have fooled around with powerpoint presentation: it's fun isn't it, with it's animations and sounds availible, you can make your audience laugh and scream with mirth, but let me share with you how an audience managed to laugh and scream because of the presenter, not the slides.

The french language: not easy to learn, for some schools, a failure is considered acceptable, and anything above reasonable is a near-miracle. Also a pain in the crack for someone who has no experience whatsoever speaking the language.

So it happens that a person requiring to present a presentation on a french architect realises that he or in my case she, has a big problem, especially if she isn't that wunderfool with English in its most basic form.

Throughout the presentation, the animations were cool, but unrelated to the presentation itself, and her ability to pronounce words such as La Tourette came out as ' hmm, erm, Larrr..... Toooooorettti?'. You get the picture, so as you can see, Fench is really hard for us.

anyhow, if there's anyone who can speak french well enough, next time, you're up to give a speech on Le Corbusier.(pronounced as 'Leeeee..... erm, Cohbooousihayer?')

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Selfish Snobs (who dat??? who dere???)

Hmm.

We all live in a very fast-paced world, don't you agree? Sometimes this fast-paced world tends to make us obnoxious and snotty little creatures who tend to stick in other people's cracks (reading this, Zelda?). Well, let me talk about some people I know who belong in this circle, except the part where their behaviour is caused by the fast-paced world.

Being the class chairman in school, I notice one thing: Money and self-image is a very important thing (Place a big 'duh' here). Even more so is the ability to bully others and act as a self-conceited arse, which allow you to think you're the biggest, baddest bloke in the block. Wrong. I simply hate bullys who push others around. As a bully victim before, I found that the best way to get a bully down is to stick it back at them in the best way possible, and then act as if they're not there.

Sounds simple? No, it also involves a few words (maybe more than a few) and also the heaviest punch you can give to the bully. Also remember that nothing comes without any effort. I also realised that sometimes girls can be the worst bullys because guys can't retaliate (wrong again).

Girls hate to be ignored, and sometimes they go all out to get noticed: even to the extent of near-nudity (as observed in my class). but that is a rare syndrome that only occurs here in my country, where most of the girls aged 15 to 21 all look alike: long dyed hair, tight blouse, and short skirt or tight jeans. Where's their sense of identity????

Never mind bullys, they are simply childish people who believe they are 'big', but that only applies to their egos and ability to look like arses.

The bottom line: just ignore them.


Cheers,

Crawldaddy

Mother's Love

Hmm.

We all know our mothers (except those who lost them, my condolences.), and I'm sure we can look back one day and appreciate their love and caring for us. However, i think that day is yet to come. take my mother for instance: she makes sure i bring snacks to class everyday which she makes with her own two hands, be it cakes or scones or some other tasty, soft eatable. Frankly, I really appreciate her care, but I simply do not have the time to enjoy her works. time between classes is mainly occupied with homework or movement between blocks to get to class, such that the only way to finish off the stuff she gives me is to get a cup of coffee, douse the eatable in coffee and stuff it into my mouth with my mind turned off.

Sad isn't it? How many mothers out there make sure we eat enough ('you're too skinny, boy!' or 'you're too pale, boy!' or even 'I can't even see your arse in your pants, boy!') by packing stuff for us to eat? Even more so when we don't take the effort to enjoy our mothers' efforts by saying a simple 'thank you' or 'Love you mum'.

Thought for the day: your mum loves you, doesn't she? so go back home and say something nice to her, spend time quality time to bring about a stronger bond between you and her.

Cheers,

Crawldaddy

The worst photos known to mankind (fake gasp)

Hmm.

Maybe you guys aren't into photography as much as i am, but you may realise that some photos that people do put out are simply too awful to be allowed. Let we discuss.

I think that some people put out bad photos for interesting reasons: the tabloids do this to deface some absymal celebrities who let too much hang out (if you follow my drift). Face care adverts also feature a gruesome before picture of someone's face partially eaten away by some mutated form of hyena, and the after photo showing a full, intact face just because they used their 'miracle medicine'.

Somehow I think the worst ones are of Politicians (maybe the photographers simply hate them, in which case i salute them). I live in a small place under opposition party control, and I simply wince at the goofy smiles of majority party personells pasted on billboards at every major junction. To me, I'd burn em all down.

So listen up, photographers, you receive my blessing if you are in the tabloids, but for goodness sake, don't let your politician photos get too large. it might induce arsonist to torch down the posters, and come after you.

Cheers!

Crawldaddy

Is design friendly to our world??

Hmm.

I'm currently studying in a tertiary institue taking a course in industrial design... what is that? well, it is basically the fusion of two ideals required in design: art and engineering (or in a short form: 'engine'. Pun intended to Zelda).

So is design friendly to our world....? I would say it depends on the person taking the controls because when you talk about using a toilet seat, if it is comfortable, it's good design! but if it sticks somewhere uncomfortable in the crack region... well you can really want to take a bite out of the designer.

A very good example is the toilet seat with a square 'hole', that is to say that the toilet seat is a basic rectangle. God has made our bodys such that we have no right angles, everything is rounded, well almost everything exterior is such. Imagine rushing home to use the toilet, after taking the neccessary steps to ensure that what goes out really doesn't stay in your pants, you take a seat and you realise that the toilet is very uncomfortable. What is this??? I think we should abolish toilet seats which have rectangular holes, thereby increasing our comfort during our 'business periods'.

Anyhow, there are the ones with round seats, and woe betide those who design rectangular toilet seats beacuse I'll be coming after your arse.

Cheers,
Crawldaddy

Hello People!!!

Hi, just created my own blogging area: Now I can put up anything I want and slam whoever!!!! (Muahahhahahahahha......)

No. I'm just a simple guy, who likes to make friends and be nice to people. I am extremely musically inclined: I can play almost any kind of guitar, the bass, the mandolin, a bit of the piano and of course vocals. so what if I can play so much stuff? I'm in a two-piece band (common response: what good is a two piece band???) called 'Fuzzy green grass'. yeah, kinda wierd, but we don't give a d*mn what people think about our name, and of course the only songs we play are in the fields of bluegrass, country, folk and rock. We are strongly anti-satanic, so Satanists... balls to you!!!

Anyhow, I'll try and see whether i can put up some of our songs for you guys to hear. they're not very polished ones, but the playing is almost there.

Anyhow, if anyone wishes to say anything... I'm listening.

Cheers,
Crawldaddy.